


haha fire

by loosecloudymist_OperaEagleAce



Series: Ryohei appreciation [9]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: & they all just rip into ryohei's swimming, BAMF Girls, Banter, Dyslexic Character(s), Found Family, Gen, I'm so sorry for this train wreck, after everything i've done for this fandom? tch, bc we deserve more of them, but also support each other, but not really, chatfic, hana has finally shown up!!, heavily inspired by guardians chat, high school years, i spent way too much time on this please validate me through comments, jk i've done like nothing except plug ryohei, just wait until hana shows up hoo boy, khr rarepair week halloween mini event, legit i started with the graveyard idea but wELL, let haru live vicariously through drawing black & silver lipstick on gokudera, let the traumatized mafia teens be teens, let them roast each other, look they've all been through hell, prompts: graveyards & costumes, supportive tenth gen, tsuna & ryohei are dyslexic, we stan self care in this house, which is understandable tbh, y'all really still sleeping on ryohei as the best big brother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27324436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosecloudymist_OperaEagleAce/pseuds/loosecloudymist_OperaEagleAce
Summary: costumedcAkE: plus, like kyoko said, silver lipstick would look FIRE on youboom:I AM DONElegallydead: haha fireswordbat: haha fireghost: haha fireeXTREMe: FIRE!!![]..[]Gokudera wants to visit the graveyard on Halloween night... and the Tenth Gen chat won't shut  up and let him.(Seriously, they won't shut up. This was supposed to be 1kmaybe.)
Relationships: Chrome Dokuro & Rokudou Mukuro, Gokudera Hayato & Rokudou Mukuro, Kurokawa Hana & Sawada Tsunayoshi, Kurokawa Hana & Vongola Tenth Generation, Miura Haru & Vongola Tenth Generation, Sasagawa Ryohei & his adopted siblings (aka everyone), Sasagawa Ryouhei & Yamamoto Takeshi, Sawada Tsunayoshi & Vongola Tenth Generation, vongola tenth generation - Relationship
Series: Ryohei appreciation [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1050386
Comments: 18
Kudos: 45
Collections: KHR Rarepair Week Halloween Mini-Event 2020





	1. please stop my brain cnat handle this

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [guardians chat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15590070) by [calstic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/calstic/pseuds/calstic). 



> ahahaha i spent way too many hours in a row doing this
> 
> me: ooh, graveyard prompt! i'll start off in chat & transition to prose!  
> fic: no  
> me: but--  
> fic: N O  
> fic: these children need to live in chat & you will Write It
> 
> anyway usernames:  
> boom: Gokudera Hayato  
> legallydead: Sawada Tsunayoshi  
> swordbat: Yamamoto Takeshi  
> kufuyes: Rukudo Mukuro  
> no: Hibari Kyoya (he doesn’t really show up but it’s Important)  
> eXTREMe: sunshine bro  
> costumedcAkE: Miura Haru  
> cake: Sasagawa Kyoko  
> getbackhere: Kurokawa Hana  
> ghost: Dokuro Chrome

**boom:** hey who’s coming with me to the cemetery tonight

 **legallydead** : hayato _no_

**boom:** i’m sorry tsuna 

**boom:** it pains me to say this but i have to 

**boom:** i need to look for umas and Other Halloween Creatures on this hallowed night 

**boom:** i don’t make the rules 

**boom:** again i’m so sorry for not listening tsuna

 **legallydead** : hey hayato remember that im not your boss

 **legallydead** : not gonna torture you for not immediately bowing to my panicking 

**boom:** right, sorry!! 

**legallydead** : no, please dont 

**legallydead** : never mind, baby steps

 **legallydead** : do what you want!! go hunt down some horrifying skeleton zombies if thats your souls deepest desire 

**legallydead** : cant relate but whatever 

**swordbat:** hello guys! what are we doing? 

**legallydead** : hayatos gonna go to a graveyard tonight

 **legallydead** : i would prefer not to sacrifice myself to a being of chaos other than reborn thanks 

**swordbat:** sounds cool, i’m down for sacrificing myself! what time **@boom**? 

**boom:** you 

**boom:** you do know i’m right here yes 

**boom:** no need to ping 

**boom:** seriously 

**swordbat:** ahaha what did you say? 

**boom:** i’m going to explode your face into very cathartic slivers on the ground the next time i see you 

**swordbat:** sounds cool, but i still need a time!

 **legallydead** : please don’t sacrifice yourself takeshi 

**legallydead** : i Could Not live with myself if you did that

 **swordbat:** then i won’t tsuna <3 <3 

**legallydead** : thx

 **legallydead** : <3 <3 <3 

**boom:** idk, 6 or so? 

**boom:** it’ll be good & dark by then 

**swordbat:** amazing 

**swordbat:** i’ll bring the bat 

**swordbat:** what are you bringing? 

**boom:** a candle, some matches 

**boom:** only amateurs & fakes bring flashlights 

**boom:** a clear cover for the candle 

**boom:** bombs, extra explosion bombs, mini bombs, rocket bombs, flash bombs, boom bombs, several others but the list is pretty long already 

**boom:** sistema CIA because you never know 

**boom:** other than that?

 **kufuyes:** why would you need ““flash bomb””

 **kufuyes** : flash grenades exist

 **boom:** they’re expensive 

**boom:** and i get a lot of satisfaction from making all my own weapons 

**boom:** that way i know they’re trustworthy 

**boom:** not something you have a whole lot of experience with, so it's okay you don’t understand

 **legallydead:** asdlkf;adk

 **swordbat:** ooh burn

 **boom:** that said 

**boom:** sHUT UP NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION

 **kufuyes:** but of course 

**kufuyes** : that’s the best time to give it

 **boom** : i hate you 

**kufuyes:** are we just going to ignore how unnecessarily edgy the name “boom bombs” is 

**kufuyes** : like what

 **kufuyes** : what is that 

**boom:** are we going to ignore how unnecessarily edgy the phrase “but of course” is

 **kufuyes:** i’m really surprised you haven’t gone full goth punk

 **legallydead:** asdlfkhd;asd 

**boom:** yes apparently we are

 **boom:** i’m done with all of you

 **swordbat:** guys 

**swordbat:** gUYS

 **swordbat:** gokudera in black lip stick

 **swordbat:** black 

**swordbat:** lip

 **swordbat:** stick

 **legallydead:** please stop my brain cnat handle this 

**legallydead** : its like a fever dream 

**legallydead** : but way too possible

 **cake:** idk i think maybe silver lipstick would work better??

 **boom:** I AM DONE WITH ALL OF YOU

 **costumedcAkE:** you have summoned me

 **ghost:** i, too, have been summoned by the presence of kyoko

 **costumedcAkE:** ooh, mukuro, me too honestly!! 

**costumedcAkE:** you would look so amazing as a goth punk, gokudera 

**costumedcAkE:** i could help you plan outfits! 

**costumedcAkE:** show you some amazing stores!

 **costumedcAkE:** plus, like kyoko said, silver lipstick would look FIRE on you 

**boom:** _DONE_

 **legallydead:** haha fire

 **swordbat:** haha fire

 **ghost:** haha fire 

**eXTREMe:** FIRE!!!

 **eXTREMe:** EXTREME good afternoon to you all, I am here now!!

 **legallydead:** ryo-nii!

 **swordbat:** sup ryo bro?

 **boom:** WHY ARE YOU HERE

 **kufuyes:** disgusting

 **ghost:** good to see you ryohei!

 **eXTREMe:** aww thank you all for the EXTREME greetings!!

 **eXTREMe:** Chrome, feel free to call me big bro too!!

 **kufuyes:** there’s no way this guy is for real

 **legallydead:** see you think that but

 **eXTREMe:** I would adopt you too pineapple!!

 **legallydead:** yeah. that. 

**kufuyes:** disgusting

 **boom:** he doesn’t know when to give up

 **cake:** it’s more like he can’t?

 **costumedcAkE:** there’s something in his brain that just won’t let him admit defeat 

**costumedcAkE:** ever 

**kufuyes:** you can’t have chrome, she would get infected with your loudness

 **eXTREMe:** that sounds like an extreme challenge!

 **eXTREMe:** I will adopt you both!

 **kufuyes:** no

 **eXTREMe:** Yes!

 **kufuyes:** no

 **eXTREMe:** Yes!!

 **ghost:** i accept big bro

 **ghost:** **@cake** does he give good hugs?

 **kufuyes:** nO

 **cake:** uh huh!! 

**swordbat:** the best!

 **eXTREMe:** MUKURO YOU CANNOT STOP ME TO THE EXTREME

 **kufuyes:** nO! I REFUSE! YOU CANNOT DO THIS!

 **legallydead:** ryo-nii’s hugs are actually the most blessed thing i’ve ever felt

 **legallydead** : once you get him to stop crushign your airways 

**legallydead** : but you sit there for a long time & just bask & it’s so warm 

**legallydead** : n e way 

**legallydead** : yeah get yourself a ryoehi hug asap

 **eXTREMe:** aww!! thank you for the review!

 **eXTREMe:** sorry for the crushing, it’s hard to rmember what a regular human body can handle ^^;

 **cake:** dw nii-san i gotchu 

**cake:** i’ll help you practice some more

 **swordbat:** if helping ryo bro practice means ryo bro hugs, then sign me up!


	2. Reasons (very scientific ones)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> username meta

Reasons for usernames (i tried to make them vaguely halloweenish but :/ f for effort):

 **kufuyes:** an enabling laugh bc no one else enables him (also he added hibari to the gc & won’t let him leave, thus the yes/no of their usernames)

 **legallydead:** actually tsuna is very unfortunately Not legally dead but Reborn’s still around, so maybe in like .5 seconds

 **no:** herbivores all of them

 **eXTREMe:** an extreme man can contain his extreme to the middle of a word

 **cake:** there's only one thing a person actually needs 

**costumedcAkE:** haru NEEDS CAKE OKAY also i beat the prompt that i failed earlier just by flooding my fic with the other prompt word. wow i’m brilliant

 **ghost:** chrome is silent & scarily competent you can’t change my mind

 **getbackhere:** you’ll see

 **boom:** bombs, extra explosion bombs, mini bombs, rocket bombs, flash bombs, boom bombs, need i go on

 **swordbat:** the bat-sword is takeshi’s entire personality

we’re done here. mic drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mic drop


	3. a long, detailed list

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kufuyes: why would i mock just gokudera when i could harass both?? <3  
> ghost: i’m not talking to you for a week <3  
> kufuyes: yeah right   
> ghost: <3  
> swordbat: rip   
> [._.]  
> we're all soft for enthusiastic Haru  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> continuing 1st chap  
> note: in this universe they are all well and truly friends & all the teasing, esp at gokudera & mukuro, sparks anger but not actual doubt as to whether they are friends. just wanted to write a wholesome verse ^^

**costumedcAkE:** i am back with some ideas!! 

**costumedcAkE:** seriously, gokudera, i think you would SLAY 

**costumedcAkE:** with either black or silver lipstick 

**costumedcAkE:** you have the accessories for both 

**costumedcAkE:** you can’t just leave the world without this 

**costumedcAkE:** your black & silver lipsticked face would inspire so many people!!

 **boom** : 

**ghost:** i’m so soft for haru going off like this

 **legallydead:** same hat 

**swordbat:** oh man yeah

 **eXTREMe:** it touches my soul when she gets so bright & extreme! 

**costumedcAkE:** ooh, what about silver on the top & black on the bottom lip?? 

**costumedcAkE:** or half & half vertically? 

**cake:** we have done nothing to deserve this blessing

 **legallydead:** truly we did not

 **boom:** I DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS!!

 **ghost:** correct 

**ghost:** you do not deserve haru’s spectacular efforts

 **costumedcAkE:** or, OR, diagonally?? oh my gosh so many ideas!! 

**costumedcAkE:** ahHHhhHh 

**costumedcAkE:** grabbing my sketchbook RIGHT NOW

 **cake:** go get em haru!!

 **legallydead:** godspeed 

**legallydead** : even though you seriously broke my entire being

 **ghost:** i’m impressed 

**ghost:** also yesss she's gonna draw them 

**boom:** I”M LEAVING SO I CAN BRESTHE

 **kufuyes:** disgusting

 **ghost:** ik you’re referring to gokudera & not haru’s awe-inspiring ideas right??

 **kufuyes:** oh definitely 

**kufuyes** : why would i mock just gokudera when i could harass both?? <3

 **ghost:** i’m not talking to you for a week <3

 **kufuyes:** yeah right 

**ghost:** <3

 **swordbat:** rip 

**swordbat** : it’s probably two weeks now 

**legallydead:** why do you do this to yourself

 **eXTREMe:** RIP PINEAPPLE 

**eXTREMe** : LIL SIS STICKS WITH THINGS LIKE THIS TO THE EXTREME END

 **ghost:** see big bro knows 

**ghost:** wait how do you know this?

 **eXTREMe:** YOU’RE EXTREME, TO THE EXTREME!

 **legallydead:** he notices the amount of pasion & determination in everyone 

**cake:** and boxing potential

 **swordbat:** definitely

 **legallydead:** but this means you’re ryo-nii approved, so :thumbs up:

 **ghost:** nice

 **legallydead:** a triumph

 **eXTREMe:** Chrome, your brand of extreme is a little quieter than most, but still extremely extreme! 

**eXTREMe:** more extreme than most people! 

**eXTREMe** : tsuna-bro has all the extremely extreme friends!!

 **legallydead:** ryo-nii someday you gotta come up with like a measurement scale

 **legallydead:** kinda hard to know exactly how extreme youre talking 

**legallydead** : when everything is extreme

 **eXTREMe:** it’s hard for me too! everyone is so extreme in their own ways & i know i need to do a better job at finding those specific ways & appreciating them so i’m trying really hard! 

**costumedcAkE** : back w/ sketchpad & appropriate pencils & charcoal!! 

**costumedcAkE** : asdlkfj; chrome thank you for defending my honor ;-; 

**costumedcAkE** : big bro, you’re so precious please never change

 **eXTREMe** : :thumbs up: not planning on it!! will give you an extreme hug the next time i see you!

 **costumedcAkE** : plEASE

 **costumedcAkE** : but also please practice with takeshi & kyoko first 

**eXTREMe:** to the extreme! no way i’ll refuse that!

 **swordbat:** you can walk into takesushi literally any time ryo bro 

**swordbat:** i’m ready

 **swordbat:** not gonna lie haru

 **swordbat:** i was literally rofl at all these mental images of gokudera with lipstick

 **boom:** WHY MIURA 

**boom:** WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU 

**costumedcAkE:** do you actually want answers to that question?

 **costumedcAkE:** bc i have a long, detailed list 

**costumedcAkE:** beginnign with “existing” and ending “won’t take haru’s fabulous, philanthropic fashion advice” 

**costumedcAkE:** but rn i’m actually trying to help you? 

**costumedcAkE:** sometimes you try a little too hard you know

 **boom** : asldfkdhjk 

**boom:** i cANNOT BELIEVE THIS 

**boom:** literally no one’s going to call out her hypocrisy?? 

**kufuyes:** hypocrisy is my middle name, gotta support my people

 **cake:** “philanthropic fashion advice” 

**cake:** yes, say it like it _is_ haru

 **costumedcAkE:** eww mukuro i don’t need your support

 **boom:** I AM GOING TO EXPLODE MY PHONE 

**boom:** WITH AN EXTRA BOOM BOMB 

**kufuyes:** aaaand the unnecessary & edgy returns

 **kufuyes:** “extra boom bomb”

 **swordbat:** hahah

 **legallydead** : wow we really dont care about clinging to life today huh

 **boom:** AND COME BACK AFTER I HAVE SCREAMED LOUD ENOUGH YOU CAN HEAR ME ACROSS TOWN

 **kufuyes:** who gave you the lipstick idea in the first place?? 

**kufuyes:** huh haru???

 **kufuyes:** ungrateful much????

 **legallydead:** kyoko

 **costumedcAkE:** kyoko <3

 **ghost:** & it was actually takeshi’s suggestion at first

 **swordbat:** kyoko suggested the silver! 

**swordbat:** she gets credit

 **eXTREMe:** both of you get credit for this mind-bending idea!!

 **eXTREMe** : as you know i’m really bad at imagining pictures in my head but 

**eXTREMe** : even with what little i have i am Feeling the EXTREME

 **cake:** i will take some credit!

 **eXTREMe: @boom** you would look so extreme with black & silver lipstick!! 

**eXTREMe:** just think about it! 

**eXTREMe:** so extreme!!! 

**legallydead:** asd;lfkhd 

**swordbat:** lol you’re gonna get murdered ryo bro

 **swordbat: @boom** come on just imagine it 

**swordbat:** ;D

 **ghost:** yall really out here sacrificing yourselves 

**ghost:** respect

 **legallydead:** honestly

 **cake:** i literally just heard A Scream guys

 **swordbat:** me too XD

 **eXTREMe:** mE THREE 

**eXTREMe** : THAT SCREAM WAS EXTREMELY POWERFUL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the continuation i'm working on is not the direct follow up to this one but i wanna post it so bad :( hanaaa
> 
> leave any suggestions in reviews! no promises, but something might spark! also tell me who your fav is & if i got them vaguely correct. (chrome's mostly based off guardians-chat verse chrome ngl, but that version of chrome's here to stay lol) i Tried but Trying only gets you so far yk


	4. i quote: “snort”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boom: @eXTREMe @swordbat you’re dead to me 
> 
> boom: actually you’re just dead 
> 
> boom: you have 48 hours enjoy them
> 
> kufuyes: oh my 
> 
> kufuyes: better skedaddle boys 
> 
> kufuyes: the Edgy is after you with his ""extra boom explosion extra bombs"" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been a while hasn't it? today's a double update tho! sorry this chap's so short, this was really the only feasible point to split this section.
> 
> tw: death threats that might come off as serious

**costumedcAkE:** muahaha 

**costumedcAkE** : **@boom** seriously!! i’ve got both big bro & takeshi with me! 

**boom:** and they mean nothing to me now 

**boom:** **@eXTREMe** **@swordbat** you’re dead to me 

**boom:** actually you’re just dead 

**boom:** you have 48 hours enjoy them

 **kufuyes:** oh my 

**kufuyes:** better skedaddle boys 

**kufuyes:** the Edgy is after you with his ""extra boom explosion extra bombs"" 

**swordbat:** lol

 **legallydead:** ouch

 **boom:**

**boom:** mukuro 

**boom:** you’ve been promoted to hit list :)

 **legallydead:** i heard the scathing tone as if mukuro projected it into my soul 

**kufuyes:** bold of you to assume i wasn’t on your hit list earlier

 **kufuyes:** actually why wasn’t i??

 **kufuyes:** i’m kind of offended now!

 **boom:** don’t worry 

**boom:** that’s like your seventeenth spot on it

 **kufuyes:** that is more acceptable

 **kufuyes:** it’s good to be recognized for all the hard work i put into annoying the will to live out of people

 **legallydead:** that explains a lot

 **ghost:** it does, doesn’t it

 **eXTREMe:** WE WON’T RUN!!

 **eXTREMe:** WE ONLY SEEK TO HUMBLY OFFER AN EXTREMELY NEEDED SERVICE TO THE WORLD

 **eXTREMe:** IN THE FORM OF LIPSTICK MODEL GOKUDERA

 **eXTREMe:** NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY TO END OUR MISSION

 **eXTREMe:** IT CANNOT BE STOPPED!!

 **eXTREMe** : WE WILL FIGHT UNTIL THE EXTREME END 

**swordbat:** for the true potential of hayato’s aesthetic :pensive: 

**eXTREMe:** FOR THE TRUE POTENTIAL OF HAYATO’S AESTHETIC!!!

 **swordbat:** wow, that was such an inspiring speech

 **swordbat:** so glad i got to be part of that

 **costumedcAkE:** so glad i got to witness that

 **cake:** i’m wiping a tear away myself

 **swordbat:** bro fist

 **eXTREMe:** bro fist!!

 **boom:** you all are down to

 **boom:** 24 hours

 **boom:** & that’s because i need time to manufacture a dynamite truly worthy

 **boom:** of finally ending your wretched existences

 **kufuyes:** ooOoh, so **e d g y**

 **kufuyes:** run for your lives

 **kufuyes:** oh, sorry, i meant “wretched existences”

 **kufuyes:** snort

 **boom:** you really just typed out, & i quote: “snort”

 **kufuyes:** dismissive snort

 **ghost:** in case you can’t visualize it, he’s also staring down his nose at you

 **legallydead:** i really did not need to visualize that actually

 **cake:** it adds a third layer of condescension

 **cake:** really sells the image, you know?

 **costumedcAkE:** exactly!!

 **boom:** he shOULD be savoring the mere hours he has left

 **boom:** at this point i might show up suddenly, having decided 

**boom:** you don’t deserve those hours :)

 **kufuyes:** hah 

**kufuyes:** try it bomb boy

 **costumedcAkE:** wow, how the mighty have fallen

 **swordbat:** truly :pensive: 

**swordbat:** i love how i cannot tell who or what exactly you’re talking about

 **swordbat:** but i still absolutely agree!

 **ghost:** as you should

 **boom:** i haven’t forgotten about you either baseball freak

 **boom:** i’m coming for you after mukuro

 **eXTREMe:** come at us gokudera bro!!

 **eXTREMe:** we won’t go down so easily!!

 **swordbat:** well, it’s been a good run big bro

 **eXTREMe:** it extremely has

 **legallydead:** i know you guys are 100% joking ofc but my brain isnt, cooperating,,,

 **eXTREMe:** extremely sorry lil bro!! 

**kufuyes:** whoops ._.;

 **swordbat:** oh yikes sorry tsuna!! 

**swordbat:** i’ll stop!

 **boom:** oh asdlkjgh sorry!!! 

**boom:** i will not actually be murdering them

 **legallydead:** thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takeshi & ryohei are found family goals. hayato & mukuro are found frenemy goals. you can't change my mind. 
> 
> onward!


	5. that is one EXTREME yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> costumedcAkE: no one here has appreciation for the true delicate art of cosplay!
> 
> swordbat: yeah, hayato! 
> 
> swordbat: don’t bash this underappreciated art! 
> 
> eXTREMe: unextreme!
> 
> boom: you call this art?!
> 
> @boom sent elderitchbananamiura.jpg  
> [._.]  
> Banter, discussion of subpar fruit cosplays, & Vongola celebrations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am absolutely past the point of caring about exact characterization atm. i'm just gonna let it go for rn, even tho i don't feel this chap is up to my usual quality. however i did work hard on this & i even proofread it thoroughly!! 
> 
> still following the story, altho this marks the end of what i've written for it. from here on out it's side stories!
> 
> & tsuna's various issues start making regular appearances after this chapter. this one includes mention of possible sensory overload.
> 
> reminder: they are all v close friends & they'll speak up if something bothers them!

**boom:** but honestly

 **boom:** miura it’s times like these when i really regret ever discovering how intelligent you actually are 

**boom:** because it gives me physical pain when you do this 

**boom:** why would you think i would ever want your help picking out outfits? 

**boom:** “““philanthropic fashion advice””” 

**boom:** you literally cosplay a fruit every Saturday while shopping??

 **kufuyes:** what?

 **costumedcAkE:** excuse you!

 **costumedcAkE:** bully!!

 **kufuyes:** no actually what

 **ghost:** woah, we just time travelled 

**ghost:** we were talking abt haru’s fashion skills like 20 minutes ago

 **swordbat:** it _has_ been awhile, but i am so down to discuss haru’s cosplay skills!!

 **costumedcAkE:** uncultured swine!!

 **kufuyes:** people people pkeas

 **kufuyes:** shut up & focus

 **kufuyes:** fruit? haru? public? e v e r y saturday??

 **kufuyes:** w h a t

 **ghost:** there’s nothing to explain mukuro

 **ghost:** you just summed it up perfectly

 **swordbat:** haru is really into costume design! 

**eXTREMe:** she has an extreme gift!!

 **legallydead:** yes she literally does cosplay a fruit every saturday 

**legallydead:** i know

 **ghost:** she’s talented

 **costumedcAkE:** no one here has appreciation for the true delicate art of cosplay!

 **swordbat:** yeah, hayato! 

**swordbat:** don’t bash this underappreciated art! 

**eXTREMe:** unextreme!

 **boom:** you call _this_ art?!

 **@boom** sent _elderitchbananamiura.jpg_

 **legallydead:** oh yikes

 **legallydead:** i love you haru but yikes

 **kufuyes:** screenshotted

 **boom** : _i can never unsee that_

 **costumedcAkE:** so what!! 

**swordbat:** that is… a Bright yellow

 **costumedcAkE:** it’s not my fault you people don’t appreciate the appeal of the brightest neon yellow there is! 

**swordbat:** it's a little eye-searing haru ngl

 **swordbat:** whew

 **costumedcAkE:** YOU DONT UNDERSTAND 

**costumedcAkE:** I WAS REALLY FEELING NEON LAST WEEK!! 

**boom** : you’re right, i will never understand you

 **kufuyes:** hang on 

**kufuyes:** i’m as amused by this atrocity as any of you but 

**kufuyes:** last week??

 **boom:** yep 

**boom:** last week

 **kufuyes:** i can’t believe i ever had a mildly positive thought about this monster

 **boom:** yep

 **eXTREMe:** that is one EXTREME yellow 

**eXTREMe** : you have my approval lil sis! :thumbs up: :thumbs up:

 **swordbat:** hahaha ryo bro XD

 **ghost:** i was gonna defend you haru

 **ghost:** but if big bro’s on your side about this eye-searing color?

 **ghost:** then i morally Cannot Do That, sorry

 **cake:** same

 **cake:** yikes, i can’t believe i’ve been forced to turn against my heart like this </3

 **costumedcAkE:** big bro, thank you 

**costumedcAkE:** i cannot beLIEVE THE REST OF YOU 

**legallydead:** i can

 **swordbat:** sorry 

**swordba** t: but it really do be that way haru

 **ghost:** it really do

 **boom:** how does it feel to have everyone turn against you haru 

**boom:** huh

 **boom:** you proud of yourself

 **costumedcAkE:** actually, you know what??

 **costumedcAkE:** yes, i AM proud of myself, because it took a long time to make, oKAY,

 **costumedcAkE:** and i’m the one who i do this for!

 **costumedcAkE:** not all of you!!

 **eXTREMe:** YES!!

 **eXTREMe:** GO SIS!

 **cake:** actually yeah!

 **cake:** i’m sorry for ever turning against you haru. 

**cake:** live your best life!!!

 **eXTREMe:** YOU ARE LIVING TO THE EXTREME!

 **kufuyes:** yeah but could she like 

**kufuyes:** leave the rest of us out of it

 **kufuyes:** as long as it involves puke yellow

 **boom:** ^^^^^

 **costumedcAkE:** rude!!!

 **kufuyes:** didn’t even know that was a color

 **legallydead:** great 

**legallydead:** thanks mukuro

 **legallydead:** i cant unsee it

 **kufuyes:** <3

 **legallydead:** i would like to gouge out my eyes

 **cake:** don’t do that!! 

**cake:** you need them for the upcoming vongola celebration!

 **legallydead:** asdklfj;jhd

 **legallydead:** please dont remind me

 **costumedcAkE:** why? 

**swordbat:** do you not want to go?

 **eXTREMe:** i usually enjoy them a lot but i understand if you get overstimulated or smtg!

 **eXTREMe:** we can help you leave if you need!

 **boom:** if you just don’t want to come, don’t force yourself

 **legallydead:** thanks guys

 **legallydead:** i will proly take you up on that offer sometime

 **legallydead:** but no thats not what has completely drained my energy

 **legallydead:** i want to be there bc yall will b

 **cake:** <3

 **legallydead:** <3

 **swordbat:** <3

 **costumedcAkE:** <3

 **legallydead:** i love you all sm

 **ghost:** <3

 **kufuyes:** no

 **eXTREMe:** <3

 **boom:** <3

 **legallydead:** its just

 **legallydead:** 115th anniversary of the first octopus bred in vongola territory???

 **legallydead:** really??

 **eXTREMe:** woah!

 **cake:** aww, how could they _not_ celebrate an octopus anniversary?

 **swordbat:** sounds important! 

**legallydead:** it does??

 **swordbat:** yeah! i’m guessing they have a whole octopus army now? & that was the humble beginning!

 **kufuyes:** round of applause for useless mafia extravagance

 **ghost:** *clap clap clap* 

**costumedcAkE:** aww, how sweet of them to celebrate that!!

 **boom:** that is not what it’s about!!

 **boom:** the octopus was a Flame octopus

 **boom:** _that’s_ what they’re celebrating

 **cake:** oh

 **ghost:** oh i see

 **kufuyes:** what else did you expect? 

**kufuyes:** the mafia only celebrates when they gain more power

 **kufuyes:** greedy monsters

 **swordbat:** well i liked my idea better, but can’t argue with the facts ig

 **swordbat:** that does clear things up!

 **legallydead:** yep that understanding definitely just fixes everything

 **legallydead:** no confusion left

 **legallydead:** thanks hayato

 **boom:** no problem!!!

 **eXTREMe:** i’m going to pretend taht cleared everything up for me too!

 **legallydead:** im done for the day

 **legallydead:** peace 

**boom:** have an amazing night tsuna!!

 **swordbat:** adios!

 **cake:** <3

 **costumedcAkE:** <3

 **legallydead:** <3

 **ghost:** night tsuna

 **kufuyes:** happy leaving

 **eXTREMe:** SEE YOU TOMORROW LIL BRO!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does hayato go to the graveyard? absolutely yes, but we won't see it! 
> 
> i did actually fulfill the "costume" prompt completely with so much discussion about cosplay this chapter tho!! finally
> 
> it is So Hard to juggle this many characters, y'all would not b e l i e v e. or maybe you would XD there are around eight here & i do my best to give them all some screentime. drop a review with your favorite line!
> 
> <3 no matter what you think abt yourself, you rock. you're stunning!!


	6. im so sorry you have to deal with us hana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hana arrives (finally!) & everyone discusses Ryohei's swimming as civilly as anyone can. which. isn't that civilly, let's be honest. Especially not with Hana there to throw down the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fairly short, but thus begins the next section that i have! no plot only fluff & coping with humor :) 
> 
> i'm slightly salty that i couldn't find a good way to make the chapter title be "you broke two of my ribs, which i'm understandably salty about" "yeah sorry ^^;" rly feel like that captures the Energy, yknow. but the line i settled on is very representative too.
> 
> take a look at this: https://tylerd0wn.tumblr.com/post/49892547052/are-we-not-gunna-talk-about-the-time-ryohei. you'll need it. specifically, the gif of ryohei swimming, but the rest is important life information as well.

**getbackhere** : I know I’m going to regret this, but what are you all planning? 

**getbackhere** : This group chat is like a perpetual train wreck I can’t haul myself out of

 **getbackhere** : And yet I can’t stop myself from coming back

 **kufuyes** : the word you’re looking for is masochist

 **boom** : shut up mukuro no one asked for your opinion

 **boom** : no one ever asks for your opinion :/ 

**legallydead** : :/

 **swordbat** : :/

 **getbackhere** : :/

 **costumedcAkE** : :/

 **eXTREMe** : :/ 

**cake** : :/

 **kufuyes** : no u

 **eXTREMe** : is mukuro wrong tho??

 **getbackhere** : What

 **swordbat** : you were not supposed to say it

 **swordbat:** rip ryo-nii

 **legallydead** : f

 **costumedcAkE** : we respect a warrior 

**getbackhere** : What. 

**getbackhere** : **@eXTREMe**. Say what you have to say to my face please.

 **eXTREMe** : is he wrong?? 

**eXTREMe** : i mean there was that one time where you stepped in front of my punch and 

**eXTREMe** : that definitely hurt 

**eXTREMe** : but you haven’t stopped hanging with me!![

 **getbackhere** : First of all, you are an idiot

 **getbackhere** : Secondly, you were about to punch a _police officer_ , so excuse me for trying to prevent you from being arrested! 

**eXTREMe** : he was raring to fight!! 

**eXTREMe** : i was so ready to the extreme!!

 **getbackhere** : You are a danger to society. I don’t understand how you have survived for 16 entire years on this cursed planet.

 **getbackhere** : You broke two of my ribs. Yes, I am understandably salty about it. 

**eXTREMe** : sorry ^^;

 **getbackhere** : Does not mean I’m going to abandon you over it.

 **getbackhere** : And finally: I suddenly recalled the sentiment I was reaching for earlier! About why I can’t escape this complete train wreck!

 **swordbat** : ahaha we’re gonna get burned

 **legallydead** : so bad 

**legallydead** : im so sorry you have to deal with us hana

 **cake** : ooh i need some popcorn

 **ghost** : same 

**getbackhere** : “These absolute children cannot take care of themselves and I feel morally obligated to make sure they don’t blow up more times in a week than absolutely necessary”

 **getbackhere** : Since you know, exploding into fire is something you do all the time, apparently

 **getbackhere** : I _am_ actually sticking around while you cretins get yourself into and out of near-death experiences like Ryohei desperately trying to save a drowning child that wasn’t, in reality, drowning, so yes, I guess I am masochistic after all

 **getbackhere** : If you’ve ever seen that, then you know it’s truly pathetic

 **boom** : it is

 **eXTREMe** : hey!!

 **costumedcAkE** : HA

 **swordbat** : it’s too true

 **kufuyes** : i can only imagine

 **legallydead** : excepted to get burned but here i am living a literal dream

 **eXTREMe** : it’s not my fault they gave me the job without testing me properly! 

**eXTREMe** : i can swim to the extreme!! 

**getbackhere** : No. You can’t. 

**cake** : i love you so much nii-san but you literally cannot swim

 **eXTREMe** : i’ve been taking lessons!

 **cake** : yes but

 **cake** : nm i love you nii-san

 **cake** : so much

 **boom** : you actually? 

**boom** : have been taking lessons?? 

**legallydead** : a;lkdfjadg

 **boom** : to learn to swim like _that_???

 **swordbat** : oof

 **kufuyes** : disgusting

 **costumedcAkE** : ;sdkjagkj big bro that is Not swimming

 **eXTREMe** : i really don’t see the problem! 

**costumedcAkE** : obviously 

**eXTREMe** : everyone else swims so rigidly! 

**boom** : i didn’t think you knew what the word rigid meant

 **boom** : props where props are due ig

 **kufuyes** : disgusting

 **ghost** : the props are not due to big bro’s swimming

 **boom** : absolutely not 

**boom** : i did not mean to imply that

 **legallydead** : don’t worry literally none of us thought you did

 **getbackhere** : Perish the thought. 

**swordbat** : rip ryo bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be clear, the only way ryohei's survived has been through his Sun Flames and also his dazzling smile. it serves the multipurpose of blinding predators & converting every other living being.
> 
> hana & tsuna are the true mvps tho
> 
> comments make my day!

**Author's Note:**

> so uh
> 
> yeah there's more where that came from. this train wreck ain't over yet folks
> 
> check out guardians chat by norbliste, the true OG KHR chatfic. leave a comment to lmk your fav jokes, tags, characterizations, ect & validate the time i took to write this instead of studying for midterms 
> 
> please i'm melting
> 
> also please recommend an alternate title?? i tried to pick just one line & theres just. so many. my stupid brain finds the "haha fire" the funniest funny in this entire thing & i would like hibari to bite it to death please (my brain or haha fire? who knows. not me.)


End file.
